Fiona Apple is my inner-emo-girl damn-why-do-feelings-exist spirit animal. She’s been around for donkey’s years, writing and recording incredible songs that are one minute all SCREW YOU sassy, and the next spelling out feelings that you never even knew you had so eloquently that it’s like you looked in a mirror and your brain and heart popped out and started playing a game of Truth. Almost best of all, she doesn’t wail away in the kind of pitch that could clean your champagne flutes or constantly bellow at volumes that could function as the air-raid signal in the next war (love you, Adele, but chill k?). Fee (we’re THAT close, ok) doesn’t have the greatest voice in the world but it seriously doesn’t matter because that just means it’s easier to sing along to all the TRUTH.
I’ve had the loose aim for a while now to write this kind of post, if only to flail to an unconvinced mass (read: small clump of a few people I know) about just how freakin’ awesome this woman is. And so here we go. A Fiona Apple song for every occasion. Well, not every occasion. But, y’know.
Sidenote: I didn’t actually mean for this to almost be structured as the story to what would be THE WORST RELATIONSHIP ON EARTH EVER, it just seemed to fall that way. Also, yeah sure, I’d be lying if I said I’ve never experienced some of these situations myself, but not ALL so let’s hold off on labelling me a bunny-boiler k.
Anything We Want
And I kept touching my neck to guide your eye to where I wanted you to kiss me when we find some time alone
Useful For: When you CANNOT WAIT to jump all over a certain person but it’s kind of on the DL for Reasons and everything’s getting all tense and exciting but at the same time you just want to sit and daydream about them all the live long day.
‘Cos in the end I’m a sensible girl, I know the fiction of the facts. But you were such a super guy till the second you g0t a whiff of me, and we were like a wishing well and a bolt of electricity
Useful For: When you’ve had your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped all over by a person who seemed to be actually one of the decent ones, and you’re sore and a little awkward and angry but you’re also aware (rightly or wrongly) that it’s kind of your fault for being such a bloody sack of cats…but it IS getting better now, really.
Tymps (The Sick In The Head Song)
So why did I kiss him so hard late last Friday night? And keep on letting him change all my plans? I’m either so sick in the head I need to be bled dry to quit, or I just really used to love him
Useful For: When you haven’t listened to your friends’ advice, or your family’s advice, or even your own bloody advice and you just KEEP on going back there to that person and you honestly don’t know if it’s because of Real Love or just because you’re an idiot glutton for punishment.
Not About Love
This is not about love, cos I am not in love. In fact I can’t stop falling out
Useful For: When everyone around you thinks you’re just sore and sad that you’ve been dumped, but actually you’re FUMING about how you’ve been treated especially because you really weren’t actually in love, and you wish so hard that you still had that feeling because it was AWESOME…but sadly all you’ve been left with is the RAGE.
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills cos I know that I’m a mess that he don’t wanna clean up
Useful For: When you’ve spent ages thinking That Person is just absolutely everything you want, and you still do think that, but at the same time it’s all wasted hope and energy because they don’t want you. Ouch.
What wasted unconditional love on somebody who doesn’t believe in the stuff.
Useful For: When the relationship has broken down, again, because they did the same shitty things, again, but now you’re finally in the position to tell them exactly where to go – you know you’re better than this, and you’re never going back there.
Am I gonna heal from this? He won’t admit to it. Nothing to figure out, I gotta get him out, it’s time the truth goes out that he don’t give a shit about me.
Useful For: When you’ve finally had enough of this – nobody is getting anything out of the situation and you know that in reality they don’t actually give a stuff about you, and finally, finally…you’re angry.
You go, Fiona.